Manic Monday - Rip

The Tide That Ripped!

I was sixteen and in the ocean at Corona del Mar, one of my favorite locales during the summer. Living in such close proximity to the beach I was never afraid of the water. I've never been a real strong swimmer but I make do.

My cousin and I had been lying on the beach and had decided to go in the water to cool off. We were enjoying ourselves when all of a sudden, we weren't where we should have been! We'd gotten caught in one of those darned riptides! It's something you hear about from friends but had never believed it could happen to you.

My cousin was a strong swimmer, having lived in Manhattan Beach, and she also spent a summer with her aunt in Hawai'i. But here I was, way out over my head and in trouble! She stayed right by my side, encouraging me to hang in there when I noticed some older guys on rafts. I paddled over to one and grabbed on. I tried to explain what had happened but I was out of breath. My hero pushed me away and took off.

Next thing I know, there's a lifeguard coming my way with a tow rope in hand. I became horribly embarrassed (shoot, dying is less important to a 16 year old, I guess!) so I told him I was okay.
I floated awhile, then swam, until we finally made it to shore. I remember my knees knocking together like crazy! We flopped down on our beach towels none the worse for wear...

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Photo Hunt - Signs

(Bottom photo not mine)

Nene Goose, State Bird of Hawai'i

Physical Description: Scientists believe these birds were once nearly identical to the Canada goose, but after thousands of years of evolution, they are now quite different. They seldom swim and were not bothered by predators or cold temperatures, so they did not fly as much. Today the Nene has feet that are only half as webbed as other geese, with longer toes for climbing on the rocky lava flows. Their wings are weak, compared to other geese.

Feeding: Because there is little fresh water in their environment, the Nene relies on the moisture from fog and dew, and that contained in the plants it eats.

Status and Conservation: In 1778 when Captain Cooke arrived in the Hawaiian islands, there were probably 25,000 Nene. By the 1950's there were only 30 geese left. Like many island animals, the Nene could not stand up to the introduced animals that colonists brought with them and the changes they made to the environment for agriculture. Today there are about 500 wild Nene and successful captive breeding programs in the United States and Europe with fledglings introduced every year.

For Mo and all of My Kitty Loving Friends...

My 500th Post!

And nobody thought it would last!
Thanks, everyone - for reading
and commenting! You're the best~

Thursday 13 - Are You a Cultivore?

"It all started with "carnivore" -- someone who eats meat. Then we had "omnivore" -- someone who eats from all food groups. Next came "locavore" --someone who eats food grown or produced locally.
Now it's really taking off. I was on an eating trip with friends the other night when they announced they were "opportunivores." They eat anything when they get the chance. That started the new food words spinning through my head. If you spend enough time in the food world, prowling for restaurants, poking around the food Web sites -- you see all kinds of tribes."
CULTIVORES: These are members of the eating cults, people who lurch from one food fad to the next in search of the most obscure food.
OMNIBORES: People who endlessly brag about all the places where they've eaten, including neighborhoods, cities and very distant countries.
SNAP-AND EATERS: People who shoot pictures of their plates to post on blogs (I happily belong to this group!)
BAGGISTS: Those who bring their own bags everywhere we go. (Sorry I'm late --- I got caught in line behind a baggist with $300 worth of frozen food.)
CAMPOVORES: People who take gourmet meals on campouts.
CAMPYVORES: People who embrace any food with retro appeal. Their logo would be a marshmallow Peep holding a pack of Teaberry gum (again, this me!).
GIMMEMORES: People who have no standards for food other than the size of the portion.
FOODFEARISTS: Otherwis mature adults who are still avoiding things they didn't like when they were children. 'Don't service me anything green. I'm a foodfearist.'
NEVER-HAPPYTARIANS: People who pick apart every meal, particularly any meal in a restaurant that got a favorable review.
MOMMY DIREST: Someone who is afraid no source of food will be pure enough for her children.
MARTHA MAIDENS: People who make everything from scratch, right down to forging the metal for their own pots. (Avoid getting a gift from a Martha Maiden. You have to make your own paper and ink for the thank-you card.)
A CHILDSIAN SLIP: This is when someone shows off his/her knowledge of food but misuses the words. Named in honor of all the people who think the name of the late cookbook author was 'Julia Childs.'"

Credited to and Written by: Kathleen Purvis, McClatchy Newspapers

~~~VISIT THURSDAY THIRTEEN~~~

Wordless Wednesday - "The Thinker"

Captions, anyone?

Mine would be: "All of those candidates and not a one worth voting for..."

Please visit Wordless Wednesday and join us!

Time for That New Swimsuit!

Note: I received this online and have no idea who to credit for the really funny description of
finding a swimsuit! Boy, could I relate!

The Bathing Suit

When I was a child in the 1960s the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice-she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands. What choice did I have?

I wandered aro und, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared! Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.' So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too .. I'll be the one in cut off jeans and a t-shirt!

For Richer or Poorer

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

Trav's Nameless Meme

I found this interesting and fun meme over at Trav's Thoughts...

You're feeling: Tired and a little blue.

To your left: Our dog, Zoe.

On your mind: Thinking of all the things we still have to do in the back yard!

Last meal included: Soft beef taco

You sometimes find it hard to: Get motivated to exercise (very hard!!!)

The weather: Dry and windy - high today of 87 degrees.

Something you have a collection of: A collection of collections!

A smell that cheers you up: Gardenias.

A smell that can ruin your mood: What Melon Cutter talks about doing all the time!

How long since you last shaved: Yesterday.

The current state of your hair: Dark brown/blk, with some gray, cut in a medium bob.

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): Wicker box

Your skill with chopsticks: No skill whatsoever!

Which section to head for first in a bookstore: Arts

Something you're craving: A big, rare steak (without worrying about e-coli!)

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: Why does it have to be two years
in the making???!!!??? Three to six months is more than enough time. I'm SO TIRED
of all of them...

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: None.

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: The coast (or the backyard)

You've always secretly thought you'd be a good: Forensics pathologist

Something that freaks you out a little: Clowns and bratty kids.

Something you've eaten too much of lately: Hershey's Kisses

You have never: Jumped from an airplane (but I want to!)

You never want to: Stop learning.

Wordless Wednesday

Check out Wordless Wednesday for more photos....

Manic Monday - Bud

Mo's word of the week is "Bud." The rosebud is from last year's garden. I have all sorts of buds blooming this year. I've spent quite a few hours on my knees planting all sorts of "buds." But the most important "Bud," is my loving husband! We'd known each other for several years through our church while we were married to other people. Due to death and divorce, a friendship became love! I am fortunate to find not only my husband, but my "Best Bud."

Please visit another "bud" of mine at Mo's Manic Monday!

Photo Hunt - Twisted

There's just something special about a mighty oak! This one is in Tehachapi (about 45 mins away from our house). The rocks strewn about are much taller than either of us - maybe 12-14'?
It's hard to get the sheer size of this tree with all of it's twisted branches. The wind has swept down the valley and caused the tree to bend in it's path but it still stands firmly...A lesson for all of us.

Visit TN Chick for more Photo Hunters

The Gloves are Off

The past few years I have been so careful to be politically correct, whether it applied to politics, religion, race, etc. Well, the gloves are off. Somewhere along the way, trying to be all things to all people, I have lost myself and my values. And - my sense of humor!
I am going to try to break the mold I slunk (slinked?) into and revisit what it's like to post without concern of hurting peoples' feelings. Now, I would never intentionally say or do anything to cause anyone to be injured by my words...but I'm going to try to have more fun with this blasted blog!
So, asking for your forgiveness in advance....

From: The Wittenburg Door
"I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you." Psalm 32:8

I walked out the back door into the snow with the dog, and there in the
melty bits where the flagstone showed through was a perfect map of Africa.
I thought, "Is this a sign from the heavens? Perhaps I am meant to be a
missionary to somewhere in Africa!" Then the dog wee-weed and the map
became more like a Pennsylvania-shape, and I contemplated the deeper
meanings of God's direction and care. And then I thought: "I forgot to take
my medications today."

And then I was at peace.

(Just a brief word of explanation: I would never make light of scripture. But
all you have to do is look at the crap on e bay (the face of Jesus on toast, etc.)
and the crap (unfortunately) in Bible book stores, and realize how "dumbed
down" Christianity is becoming. C'mon, Veggie Tales??? What's wrong with
the original?)

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesday, click here...

I know this is supposed to be "wordless," but I just have to admit
this made me feel terrible for the little guy. I'm sure he/she is
okay, but it made me sad....

Manic Monday - 1,000

I grew up watching Johnny Carson, on "The Tonight Show." One of the saddest moments of TV history was watching the last two nights of his show. He was a comic genius and I still miss him.

Maybe one of Carson's most remembered bits was as "Carnac, The Magnificent."
Carnac would be handed a sealed envelope from sidekick Ed McMahon. The envelope contained a question and Carnac would speak the answer beforehand, then rip the envelope open to discover the question. Often during the bit, there would be a lame joke or a planned dead spot when Ed would question Carnac's abilities and Johnny would reply with a "curse" like the "fleas of a thousand camels...."

McMAHON: "I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnall's porch. No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before."

(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Green Acres.
ED McMAHON: Green Acres.
(Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): What does Kermit have after Miss Piggy kicks him in the groin?

(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Dippity Do.
ED McMAHON: Dippity Do. (Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): What forms on your dippity early in the morning.

(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Sis boom bah.
ED McMAHON: Sis boom bah.
(Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes.

MAY THE FLEAS OF 1,000 CAMELS INFEST YOUR ARMPITS.

Please visit Mo for more Manic Monday adventures!

Photo Hunt - Glass

This is a close-up of a lamp I have. I didn't do a real good job adjusting the light at the top, which is a very pretty marbled greenish blue. I have an affinity for stained glass lamps. Gaudy? Yes, but that's me....

I'm Rich, Too!

Mo posted something on his blog that reminded me of something similar. Months ago, we received a letter telling us we were part of a class action lawsuit involving some marketing thing we had been involved with several years ago. I didn't think much about it and threw the papers away.

A few weeks later, I received yet another letter about a class action lawsuit involving yet another marketing group we had tried. Again, it was so long ago, I tossed this letter, too.

A couple of weeks ago, within a day or two of each other, we received checks for our portion of the lawsuits. I anxiously looked at the check, thinking we'd be rolling in clover - bingo! $5.00! The second check was for $11.00. So, Vegas, here we come!!! Might even be able to help with the grandkids education...
Sheeesh!

Welcome all Communists to CA!

See if you agree with me:

Sacramento: "State Sen. Alan Lowenthal thinks it's about time that California removes some of the last vestiges of the Cold War from its laws.

The Long Beach Democrat has introduced a bill that would scrap statues allowing teachers and other public employees to be fired for being members of the Communist Party."
Says Lowenthal: " Since the fall of the Berlin Wall, the threat between us and communism just isn't there. They are not a danger to our liberty, and the courts have uniformly said that."

Mr. Lowenthal...HELLO! With Russia, China and others still jumping on the communist party boat, is this a real good idea? And does this mean that we will now allow members of the communist party in the classroom as teachers?

What about the blood shed in previous wars to DEFEAT communism?
Does that mean nothing to this dunce???

I was born and raised in California but I'm ready to move. This state has become a joke!