IN LIFE AS IN THE DANCE : GRACE GLIDES

ON BLISTERED FEET.
---Alice Abrams

Friday, April 30, 2010

A Very Sad Birthday...

April 29th was my son's 42nd birthday. But it wasn't a happy one. I have no idea where he is. I haven't seen him in about a year and a half now. He's chosen to live a lifestyle that will only bring destruction. I have built such a huge wall around myself to try and control the sadness and sense of loss, but there are days, like his birthday, that crack that wall just a bit. I'll be spending time in the next few days trying to repair and patch the wall and build up more defenses. Fear lives in those cracks in the wall and that's what I'll try to keep contained.

Please say a prayer that he's safe. That's all anyone can do.

8 comments:

Barb said...

I have a few brothers who have kept my parents feeling much as you do for many years now. I will certainly pray for his safety and healing.

Big hugs xo

Sarge Charlie said...

You know I can feel this pain, sorry mom, you did your best.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh honey, i know, i know. but i will pray and there is hope. i know there is. but i am very sad for you, very sad indeed. chuck has about ruined his health, even though he is clean now there are many issues to be dealt with for sure. i just wish i could give you a hug...

big giant hugs, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xxooxoxxooxxoxoxoxo

Sandy B said...

Oh honey, that has to be one of the toughest positions for a mom to be in. I'm praying for you both and sending bunches of hugs...

Sandee said...

Super big hug honey. :)

Mags said...

My dear Gracie...I will also say prayers for you.

Lots of love...

Linda said...

If several prayers will help, Gracie, than that's what will be going up for your son and for you that you are able to repair those cracks without too much trouble.

Big hug!

levon said...

Dear Ms. Gracie:

I am so sorry to hear of your sadness and heartache on this day. You and your son are in my prayers. I am praying for all of you - for healing, strength, and reconciliation. The situation you shared in your post reminded me of a meditation by Robert Morneau that I came across a few years ago. Since then, I have kept this at the ready when "aloneness" and unknown seem overwhelming. Its root is Isaiah 43:1-5. I hope you do not mind if I share it here.


"You are precious in eyes,
You are precious in my eyes,
I see your heart, what is and what can be,
I see your thoughts, those distant and near,
I see your deeds, life-giving and death-filled.

You are precious in my eyes,
You are precious in my eyes,
I long to share my love with you,
I yearn each moment my peace to give,
I ponder your plight with deep concern.

You are precious in my eyes,
You are precious in my eyes,
I am a God of love and peace,
I am the Lord of space and time,
I am your friend, come dwell with me."


Ms. Gracie: may the life-giving love that you share with your family and that you poured out and continue to pour out for your son (and that you share with us) sustain you now and bring you peace.

Levon