IN LIFE AS IN THE DANCE : GRACE GLIDES

ON BLISTERED FEET.
---Alice Abrams

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Broken Hearts...

I went to the cemetery Friday afternoon. It was cool - a perfect day for a visit to this place. I had a hard time finding the grave sites, as usual. I don't know why it is always so difficult for me to remember where they lay. I found my landmarks and started walking up the sloping hill, casting my eyes about for the granite headstone next to the older bronze one. I said a brief prayer asking the Lord to guide my footsteps and my eyes fell on two stunning bouquets of deep blue iris and bamboo stalks. I walked toward them and found them: the graves of my former husband and son-in-law.

I went in memory of the second anniversary of Doug's passing. I cannot believe it has now been two years. I still miss him and find it hard to believe that he is dead. I close my eyes and see his face the first time I met him. I had no idea of the impact he would have in my life nor the pain he would leave upon my heart.

He lays next to my first husband. They did not know each other in this life but they now lay side-by-side in death. It is so ironic because they were so much alike. They both loved life with an abundance and devil-may-care attitude. They drew people to them like magnets with personalities like shining stars, sure to rise high in the heavens. And rise they did. They were both stunningly successful in business at a young age, but they played as hard as they worked.

But there was so much more to them than what you saw on the surface. There was a depth of sorrow and pain in the depths of their souls. Scars and demons that plagued them in a manner that none of us who loved them could keep them from experiencing. Their addictions cost them their lives. We couldn't save them and that is what makes our grief so bitter.

I shed tears for both of them as I stood there Friday in the chill spring air. Tears for two lives cut so short; for love that wasn't finished; for the broken hearts.

13 comments:

Stine said...

My heart goes out to you... I have one too, although we were divorced, and he's the father of my two eldest girls. His passing was (mostly) due to his alcohol abuse. We remained friends, and my husband and I had him buried near our local church, close to his children. The last thing I could do for him. We often take the girls there, and share in their grief.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i am so sorry honey. just so sorry...

hugs, bee

Mags said...

Gracie...I'm sorry you have graves to visit. Just know that they are with you, even though they are physically gone...

My love to you....

Morgen said...

that's a beautiful memorial post.
{{{{hugs}}}}

Akelamalu said...

A life is never forgotton for the memories linger on. Reiki Blessings to you Gracie.

Claire said...

So sorry about this Gracie, the way you write is so beautiful and it really touches me.

Big Hugs to you.

Skittles said...

Oh Gracie...

Queenie said...

Oh Grace, you really touched me with this post. Like stine my first husband had alcohol demons.
His death seems such a waste, and noone could help him, try as they may. My thoughts are with you Grace.

AMAZING GRACIE said...

Thanks to all of you for caring...I appreciate you all so very much!!!

Dayngr said...

My thoughts are with you and you are in my prayers.

Kai said...

Oh Gracie - what a lovely tribute. You write beautifully.

Liz said...

That's a beautiful piece of writing, gracie. Bless you.

Mb said...

Its good to know that I'm not the only one who has trouble finding the graves of loved ones. I don't know why that is for me. It surprises me, though I don't know why it should, the depth of the sorrow I can still feel when there, no matter how many years have passed.