Broken Hearts...

I went to the cemetery Friday afternoon. It was cool - a perfect day for a visit to this place. I had a hard time finding the grave sites, as usual. I don't know why it is always so difficult for me to remember where they lay. I found my landmarks and started walking up the sloping hill, casting my eyes about for the granite headstone next to the older bronze one. I said a brief prayer asking the Lord to guide my footsteps and my eyes fell on two stunning bouquets of deep blue iris and bamboo stalks. I walked toward them and found them: the graves of my former husband and son-in-law.

I went in memory of the second anniversary of Doug's passing. I cannot believe it has now been two years. I still miss him and find it hard to believe that he is dead. I close my eyes and see his face the first time I met him. I had no idea of the impact he would have in my life nor the pain he would leave upon my heart.

He lays next to my first husband. They did not know each other in this life but they now lay side-by-side in death. It is so ironic because they were so much alike. They both loved life with an abundance and devil-may-care attitude. They drew people to them like magnets with personalities like shining stars, sure to rise high in the heavens. And rise they did. They were both stunningly successful in business at a young age, but they played as hard as they worked.

But there was so much more to them than what you saw on the surface. There was a depth of sorrow and pain in the depths of their souls. Scars and demons that plagued them in a manner that none of us who loved them could keep them from experiencing. Their addictions cost them their lives. We couldn't save them and that is what makes our grief so bitter.

I shed tears for both of them as I stood there Friday in the chill spring air. Tears for two lives cut so short; for love that wasn't finished; for the broken hearts.