IN LIFE AS IN THE DANCE : GRACE GLIDES

ON BLISTERED FEET.
---Alice Abrams

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Thursday Thirteen


Top Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System


1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as flotation devices.

2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airline's new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.

4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!

5. Ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)

6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....

7. I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now.

8. Fasten your seat belt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car).

9. This is your Captain speaking....these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to.. so you'll have to give me some leeway...

10. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.

11. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and ... Oh noooooooo!!!!!..

12. Don't worry! That one is always on E...

13. Get the parachutes ready...

Bonus three:

14. Drinks are on me...

15. I'll have what the Captain's having...

16. Hey capt'n, take another hit man...

17 comments:

jenn said...

FUNNY!
Happy TT!

Bloggers said...

Very funny!!

My 13 is up on
Working at Home Mom

Anonymous said...

Haha..I'll not wat to hear any of tat..thanks for sharing..

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

ummm, my seat cushion would now be my toilet i am afraid! ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Cinnamon Girl said...

ROFL!

Starchy said...

Those are hilarious! And too true!

Addicted to crafting said...

Happy TT! I'm terrified of planes!!!!

Mine's up, 13 things I'm grateful for...

Anonymous said...

I laughed all the way through your list! Ta for now dahling!

Anonymous said...

Great list!

I've never, ever been on an airplane so I think I would have a heart attack over any of them!

MaR said...

Glad I am not flying until the end of the month!!!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, those were hilarious! As someone terrified of planes, I could really identify. First you scream, then you laugh. Love the flotation device "reminder." Tactful!

Shan said...

Funny TT!

My husband just took a trip and hates to fly--I bet he would love these :-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh my....they are all hysterical. GREAT post.

Anonymous said...

Funny list. There was a story (I don’t know if it’s true but I hope it is) of an airline Captain who used to amuse himself on long flights by announcing, a propos of nothing at all, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm.” and then he’d just leave it at that!

Denise Patrick said...

Very funny - but they wouldn't be if you heard them while in the air!

Happy TT!

Gene Bach said...

That would make for a good Cnadid Camera shoot.

Travis Cody said...

I knew there was a valid reason why I prefer not to fly.