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Manic Monday - 1,000
I grew up watching Johnny Carson, on "The Tonight Show." One of the saddest moments of TV history was watching the last two nights of his show. He was a comic genius and I still miss him.
Maybe one of Carson's most remembered bits was as "Carnac, The Magnificent."
Carnac would be handed a sealed envelope from sidekick Ed McMahon. The envelope contained a question and Carnac would speak the answer beforehand, then rip the envelope open to discover the question. Often during the bit, there would be a lame joke or a planned dead spot when Ed would question Carnac's abilities and Johnny would reply with a "curse" like the "fleas of a thousand camels...."
McMAHON: "I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnall's porch. No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before."
(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Green Acres.
ED McMAHON: Green Acres.
(Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): What does Kermit have after Miss Piggy kicks him in the groin?
(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Dippity Do.
ED McMAHON: Dippity Do. (Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): What forms on your dippity early in the morning.
(Carnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)
CARNAC: Sis boom bah.
ED McMAHON: Sis boom bah.
(Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card)
CARNAC (reading): Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes.
