I know I certainly have said things that didn't make me look like a mental giant, but fortunately for me, it didn't happen in a court of law!!! I laughed at all of these but I think numbers 10 and 11 are my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy them, too. (I'm pulling out what little hair I have left and apologize if these are not lined up correctly. I've have gone out and come back in four times and frankly, I'm pooped! I hope this time it'll be okay...sorry if not. Yes, I know, I'm anal.)
1.) Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
-- Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal
2.) Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
3.) Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
4.) Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
5.) Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
6.) Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or a female?"
7.) Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
8.) Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
9.) Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
10.) Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
11.) Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
12.) Q. "Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?"
A. "I should be."
Q. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
A. "Four times."
13.) Q. "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
A. "Yes, sir."
Q. "Before or after he died?"
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