IN LIFE AS IN THE DANCE : GRACE GLIDES

ON BLISTERED FEET.
---Alice Abrams

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday Thirteen - Legal Eagles

I know I certainly have said things that didn't make me look like a mental giant, but fortunately for me, it didn't happen in a court of law!!! I laughed at all of these but I think numbers 10 and 11 are my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy them, too. (I'm pulling out what little hair I have left and apologize if these are not lined up correctly. I've have gone out and come back in four times and frankly, I'm pooped! I hope this time it'll be okay...sorry if not. Yes, I know, I'm anal.)

1.) Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
-- Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal

2.) Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
3.) Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
4.) Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
5.) Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
6.) Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or a female?"

7.) Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

8.) Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
9.) Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

10.) Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
11.) Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
12.) Q. "Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?"
A. "I should be."
Q. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
A. "Four times."

13.) Q. "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
A. "Yes, sir."
Q. "Before or after he died?"

15 comments:

DrillerAA said...

I don't know if many people would know what a fracus is at first glance.
Good list. Lawyers are always funny when they least intend it.

Happy TT.

jenn said...

Very funny list.
happy tt!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

thanks for the belly laugh this morning honey!

smiles, bee

Madame Rubies said...

ROFL! Gah, people are so entertaining. Mayube that si why God made us???

Thanks for the giggle.

http://madamerubies.com/blog/?p=846

Mags said...

Hysterical! I love these...

Playful Professional said...

My husband is currently in law school so I loved these. Thanks!

Raggedy said...

Hahahaha!
Thanks for the laughs!
Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
My TT is posted.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy TT'ing!
*^_^
(=':'=)
(")_ (")Š
Raggedy

Lazy Daisy said...

Oh my...I loved this list. Thanks for the chuckle.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Hey, laying the foundation of a case is tough, as evidenced by these stupid questions/answers. They are a riot Gracie. Have a great TT. :)

Sassy Lucy said...

That is hilarious...and so sad that they really get said. Loved your T13

Nicholas said...

I think I like 10 and 11 best too.

damozel said...

Yep, it's hard to get information on the record without breaking it down to ridiculously small units.

Linda said...

I suspect it's rather painful to be shot in the fracas!

Desert Songbird said...

Now, I've known a few people who "seemed" dead when I met them...

Travis said...

Funny stuff! I wonder if sometimes they know the question sounds dumb, but they have to ask it to have the answer in the record.