---Alice Abrams

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A Death on the Patio

"The Critter Caper..."

An unknown subject met an untimely death amongst my potted plants, or what the deep freeze has left of them. There is no body, the only evidence of a crime is the large pool of blood on the cold concrete. A cold-blooded murder on cold concrete. (Oh, did I mention it was a dark and stormy night?)

There are two witnesses to this tragedy but, unfortunately, they are not English-speaking and try though I may, I don't speak dog. They alerted to an intrusion but I paid no attention since the neighbor's gardener was in the vicinity and they don't like him. They always act tough when he's around so I ignored the warning of the fowl deed occurring right under my nose.

The only suspect is the gang-banger hawk that's been hanging out in the neighborhood lately. He's been observed trying to recruit some of the wilder doves into the local group of punk raptors that have been terrorizing my bird feeder where the sparrows and house finches lounge about.

Suspect hawk appears to be a Cooper's Hawk, though that cannot be confirmed. Based on the blood evidence, it was an air strike - a slay and swoop. Unless said hawk reappears and strikes again, there is not enough evidence to call in the big dogs. Until he finds better hunting grounds, more innocent bird blood is likely to be spilled on the patio.

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